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Dealing with a three-five year old

For all those who have been wondering, “What is going on in that tiny head?”; some fresh breath here. I don’t want to say 0-3years of your child was all easy peasy, no way! But 3-5 year olds are really something. All the sweetness, cuteness is now turning out to look different. No more is your child only imitating, for they, have also started to try things they have learnt all this while. Hitting, biting, yelling is now the basis of play with their mates.

It is for us to understand that in terms of development of a child, reactions and emotions seen are mere manifestations of how the child is feeling inwards. For example, a child who is being really rigid about something and is on the demanding side just to get you on your nerves only needs to feel secure. Adverse reactions like punishments or ignoring him for his so called ‘bad behaviour’ creates different explosions in the mind of the child.

 A typical day

Remember; you give your child everything, the child will ask for everything and more. Contrary to that, you give your child little to nothing, the child learns to make the best out of it and ‘searches’ for more. A screen-less day with some rest and lots of self-guided play is more than enough for them. They do not need academic programs as yet. Should you ‘need’ to send the child to a daycare, choose a place which provides them with ample space and time to play at all times of the year. Children gain more by playing outside at this age.

Magic in songs and movement

Tantrums are a way children want to communicate when they do not like something they are asked to see, say or do. Indeed! We end up overworked almost every day. When a child makes the most of that very moment you want to park yourself on a couch to rest your back or close your eyes, a tantrum coming your way is the last thing you expect. The need to fume or ignore is a common reaction as a parent/caretaker. While I don’t see anything wrong in getting angry; dealing with your anger first, calming down and then responding to your child is half battle. For all you know, the common response of shouting at the child or making a scary face and looking right into his eyes might just result in more mockery. Singing to your child during such times is rewarding. So is humming. These game changer tactics comforts the child and facilitates in evolving a sense of protection. He needs to feel safe to show such emotions with shades of gray. Remember, he is only imitating all that he has seen in those previous years.

Once upon a time…

With books or with puppets. With hand gestures or a musical. Now is the perfect time to start with stories (if you still haven’t) which takes them to an imaginary world where all the characters come alive. Simple nature tales, stories your parents told you when you were young, fairy tales, folk tales, etc… picking up a story is that simple. My 4-year-old is all ears when I start saying, “When I was a little girl, my mother used to tell me about a giant tree near her house…” and so on. I’d repeat the words and stories the same way my mother did for me. Books are a great medium too, if chosen according to the needs of your child. There is more to storytelling and here is where you want to read. Bear in mind; stories that are small with simpler words yet classic language has more benefits to look out for compared to the long and over-informative.

While many children want to run around, climb on everything they can or stay out in the sun as much as they can, you may also see children who want to sit down and do something quieter. Bring out safer, blunt knives, crinkle cutters from your kitchen, have them help you with chopping. Keep some blank papers handy for them to color or let them help you prep for the next day/festival/family event, so on… Yes! there are many such ways to keep such children interested too. Be creative.

All said and done, some of you readers have different views(Respect!) on parenting. There is no right or wrong. Feel free to take what resonates with you. Regardless of our ways and means, they all want the same – ‘your warm physical presence when in need’.

Warmth,

Pavithra