Sharing Is Caring
2 yrs ago, I was in the hospital waiting for Sinchana to be born.. We waited for 41 weeks, yet she did not choose to come out and we had to force her! I knew then, that in life, she will always be pushed to do things she not ready for! They say each pregnancy is different and each child is different, yet people expect everyone to behave in a normal way! Everyone think it is funny to advice young couples to plan for kids, in reality no one prepares you for what actually happens when you are pregnant and when the child is born, all you see is a glossy image.. You are made to believe that everyone goes through this and it is acceptable and normal! I did not have it easy, nor did my husband.. It was a very emotional bumpy journey for both of us.
Our education system and society focuses on all the useless things except educating us on raising children in a developmentally appreciate way. We had ‘aunties’ advising us on which oil we should use for massaging the baby, what I should eat, how I must remove drishti(bad eye) each time I admire my own child, how my child should sleep and so on. But no one cares if the mother was happy, empowered and content within. I believe our ancestors knew the art of raising children and we have a lot to learn from them, but sorry, the knowledge is now a mere orthodox belief and is forced on us with a fear.
The first year after Sinchana was born was the toughest year in my life! We chose an alternative route to raise our child and we had an objection from every person around us, we only survived because of Abhay’s positive beliefs that we are doing the right thing. Second year was more comfortable, as I experimented all the theory I learnt when I was working in waldorf kindergarten, it gave a good parents perspective and we really enjoyed the independence of raising Sinchana without much interference from the society. Abhay and I are always willing to learn and change to give a better life for Sinchana. We discuss, we laugh, we argue, we disagree and agree… There is great need for both parents to be on same page while raising a child. I am very proud of Abhay, he does everything a father should do and doesn’t believe that some work are to be done by mothers/women only. He also gives me examples of how his mother managed to be strong and raised her children as a single parent.
Tomorrow(9th march) Sinchana turns 2, the actual adventure begins Now as she steps into toddlerhood, ‘terrible twos’ as some people call it.. But we are willing to learn more and do the best in the coming year. End of the day, a child learns by watching, both parents need to set an example which is worthy of imitation.
Thanks to all the people who supported us in our journey and listened to our thoughts(lecture) over the last few years 🙂
Very well said Divya. I agree with many points mentioned by you, let it be the experimental part of parenthood or numerous suggestions by numerous people(including the unknown too) or raising your child in your way, for which world do not agree. But at the end what matters is the enjoyment in raising our kid, We parents growing up all over again or say we re-living our childhood. I understood the meaning of Time doesn’t come back after having my child, in real sense. I miss him as an infant even now. All I want to say is, it’s not ‘terrible two’ but a ‘terrific two’. So, i wish both of you to continue having this experimental journey and continue enjoying your parenthood.
Thanks Deepa 🙂
Beautiful journey. I completely admire you and understand how difficult and different this path of conscience parenting is, when we don’t want to go with traditional way of parenting. We also experienced the same when we decided to go for an alternative education for our son. But believe me, its a blessing for our kids to go on their own pace, rather than running in a rat race.
Wishing a very happy 2nd birthday to an angel of your home. Love and hugs to Sinchana.
Thank you dear 🙂
Good one Divya, we have lost the wisdom of the past, we fall for the like of glamour in the cities – you are focusing on making every moment count for Sinchana and the two of you, in the process you are also showing other parent’s there is a better way. Keep going
Thank you Ravi, It means a lot to me to hear from you 🙂
Beautiful article Divya. Very well written and I admire your courage and companionship that you and your husband share in raising your child the way you do! It gives a lot of strength and direction to parents like me who are learning in the process and open to change.
Thank you so much Nandita
Beautiful writeup Divya, am Abhay’s childhood friend and proud of u guys, who are setting an example in raising a happy kid, keep up the good work, kudos to your family, God bless you all and all the best for all that u guys want to achieve in life!🌹🌺
I am always proud of u divya 😊 Needless to say the way were share our common thoughts… all the best and i m sure u ll set an example.
Thanks Varun 🙂
Very well said… I also agree every pregnancy is different and what a mother goes through only she can explain… The journey of raising kids is not at all easy…. It is even more difficult to raise two… You have articulated your thoughts very nicely. Happy birthday to the lil pie…
Thank you so much Asha 🙂
Nice write-up Divya. It would be useful if you can write more about the alternative path that you have used with your kid.
Thank you Prachee, I will definitely put them down in another blog 🙂
Hey Divya, from a FB group, here and there I navigated and landed up here. And I want to leave a note here of having met a like-minded parent. My son is in a Waldorf school and I can relate to everything you write and talk about. Sinchana must be nearing three next week. Best wishes to her and to your parenting journey.
Hello Nandhini, Thank you so much for reading and writing to me. Feels so good! <3
Yes Sincahana turns 3 next week 🙂
Wow!It really felt like it was me writting!my baby was also going to be forced with 41 weeks…I knew like you everything is rushed in the natural processes of labour&children… Under my own risk I decided to wait little bit more and thank God my baby was born only 2 days before they were going to induce me to labour…The doctors were wrong also because during my whole pregnancy&even during my labour day,they were telling me the baby was very big!(and it was not¡¡¡!!) I decided to keep following my natural instint but I could have never imagined how hard it was going to be a mum…There is a luck of understanding about the real needs of a mother, of a baby/child and of course of the father who needs to play an active role in the family as well…Thank God some families like yours & mine, after having their baby get stronger everyday by being on the same page… sometimes we have to remind ourselves “yes! we are the parents, the adults and a great team!” to not let others interfere in what we believe is right and the best for our child…Time flyes…13 months of my life have gone really fast but Im happy to see the decitions we are making are the correct ones for our little one…and we are enjoying everyday…exausted, very busy but happy to know that by doing it differently we are respecting our child needs and we are all able to spend quality time together 😉 as a family and not in a rat race!